Drug Abuse/Addiction/Dependency...

I took Xanax for two years straight.  It was not prescribed to me.  It had gotten to a point that I could not remember what I did the day before.  I would go to work and come home, and go to sleep.  It was the same thing everyday.  Sometimes I would mix alcohol with it.  I used to lose money, my license, my keys, and I would fall asleep in random places.  This is not safe, but while I was on the Xanax it went unnoticed.  I felt that I could function.  This is when it is considered dependency.  My brain relied on that pill to get me through the day.  It starts as abuse.  You know you cannot take narcotics that are not prescribed to you.  If you do you are abusing that pill because it was not intended for you to have it.  Then it goes to addiction.  This is when you want the pill.  You will pay for it.  Then you move to the stage of dependency, which is where I was.  One day I noticed how much I was sleeping.  My daughter told me I slept too much.  That was a wake up call.  I stopped taking them.  I weened myself off of them.  I went from taking 4 mg a day, to 2 mg a day, then 1 mg a day, then .5 a day, and then it was done.  I bought over the counter sleeping pills because I had serious problems going to sleep at first.  I would take the sleeping pill at 9pm and be asleep by 11pm.  The sleeping pills really helped. 

I have done many drugs: weed, Xanax, Percocet, MDMA, Ecstacy, Shrooms, Cocaine, Cough syrup...  None of it adds up to the feeling of sobriety.